Random sentences...

I've got a thousand of things to blog about now, but everytime i try to write about something, i dont know what to write. Its like i cant explain what i want to say. Or maybe, I'm not even sure of what i want to say.

Its so hard to know what's right and best in our lives. And its so hard to know who's in the wrong when things dont go right.

I sat down for an hour, and I started thinking about what I did wrong. About restrictions, and about my attitude. Whoa, I realize I was in the wrong a lot of times. I do admit it...but somethings, I dont know why I'm wrong...and no one is gonna explain it to me.

Honestly, I try so hard to change. To not be a jealous person...I did think that I was getting somewhere. I did think that I could trust, but I guess it was all wrong.
And sometimes, after you think you've achieved something and you're so looking forward to achieve more, someone just comes and tell you that everything you've done is all wrong. How discouraging can that be...

What about putting your hope into something, and after hoping for so long...things dont go the way you wanted it to be...

Or maybe, doing something that you thought was perfect and right, and suddenly someone tells you that you've got everything wrong.

As much as I want to take it to God...I dont know what to pray for. Coz...I don't know what's going on?? Then maybe I should ask God what's going on...
Or do I know whats going on, but I refuse to acknowledge it??

My expectations are way too high even for me to keep up. What more people around me... Just like how I expect the best for myself, and when I fail to get the best, I get worked up about it...

I wonder how long it takes to build up trust again. Did I do the right thing??

I'm so looking forward to going back for summer. Counting down the days(as my MSN nick tells you). BUT at the same time, I dread to face what will happen when i go back. Even worse, when decision time comes again when i've to leave... Whats the decision this time??

A lot of things I do, i know i dont have to do it. And people actually say "I didnt ask you to do it!" So...should I still continue doing it? Maybe I should spend all my work money on things for myself, rather than saving it up for some other purposes. Coz, i'll probably be told "I didnt ask you to save it!"

I'm really trying to be selfless. I'm trying to be more understanding. I'm trying not to restrict anymore. But...there are things that I have my stand on, and definitions that I still believe in...

HUH?? What am I trying to say??

Confused yet?? I am....